Halloween with Daddy

First off, let me say WAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! <~~~That's me crying. I know, pretty pathetic but it SUCKS not being able to take your 28 month old child trick or treating! I HATE myself for not being clever enough at the time of my divorce, to have it included in the paper work that I get her for EVERY holiday. At the time he would have agreed to it, hell he would have given me a kidney if I said I wanted it then. I just don't get why I should have to miss out on that stuff? I mean...I was the one after all, who put her to bed for the first 27 MONTHS of her life, not to mention the only person to bathe her all that time too. Certainly I deserve something for being the better parent, right?! Ok, so I am partially joking. I would never keep my daughter from her father, although truth be told...I did consider telling him she had the flu the first time she was to stay the night with him!(which sadly was when she again, was 27 months) He loves and adores her, but he don't make her a priority in his life like he should. Like, he's never taken her on his Sundays EVER...because that's his day for himself. And I don't press the issue because I would rather have her with ME. Let's face it, I had her because I wanted her...he had her because it was what I wanted.(his words not mine) Now he wants his new wife more.(those are my words)lol  So yeah, tonight sucks but I know she'll be home sooner rather than later because, that's how her Daddy rolls ;)  For now I will just count the minutes until she gets home...we have a *Play Doh* date this evening, didn't yah know?!  =) 

Welcome One & All

I really probably could have just wrote, "Welcome One"...the one being myself, which is ok, really. This is just a place so I can vent, put down my feelings, and let's face it...brag about my kid! I'm 38, divorced and the mother of one adorable daughter, Shelby. Her father left me when she was nearly 6 months old. He was cheating since before she was born. Although he won't admit it, I know it to be true. Let's just put it this way, he don't deny it. Any~who, I could go into all the hurtful details, but suffice it to say...he has been remarried since our daughter was 20 months!! That should be enough to let you all know how wonderful he is.*sarcasm* But I'm sure if I actually use this blog more than a week with out tiring of it, you will eventually get the whole story out of me. I'm pretty much an open book...that don't know when to shut it's mouth! ;)  As for motherhood, it has literally saved my life. My daughter is the most important part of ME and my life, and I truly am blessed to have her. I will admit though that being the mother of one can be rather tiresome. I have to be the cowboy, the Indian and the chief! It's days like those that I wish I had been a much younger mother.lol  And the anxiety part of my blog, ties in with the motherhood part. Someone seriously should have told me about this ahead of time! I was never a worry wort prior to giving birth, but boy am I now. I am so bad, my child has maybe slept in her crib 20 times...maybe. She sleeps with me because I swear to you, all I can think of is if the house catches fire and I can't get to her, or if some mass murderer breaks in...see what I mean! It's super crazy and I know this, but none the less this is only SOME of my anxiety.  So if you feel connected to me some how after reading my rants blog,  then feel free to cop a squat, you know...sit and stay a while =)

~Careigh